Author: Rida Hassan
It is quite obvious that for every parent, it is the most wonderful adventure to raise their child and at the same time the toughest job of all. If you add a chronic illness with this toughest job, it will increase the difficulty. But if you have fibromyalgia and bring a parent, it can also bring some blessings and joy.
Being a mother of a 2 year old son, I have come up with few things that can make life a little bit easier. Of course, this is all got with some trial and error but this is how parenting ill all about.
- Say yes to imperfection:
A lot of things are covered in this. You will have perfect family, a perfect child, a perfect house, perfect outfits of babies and yours as well. What you will eat and feed you baby will not be that perfect.
You have this image in your mind of how your life will let go and what kind of parent you will be while you are pregnant, if you are like me. But you will get to know that things aren’t go the way you have planned them to go. This is true in case if you are having some chronic illness, because your condition changes day by day and even hour to next hour.
- Focus on your children in your good days:
There are days when you can’t even get out of the bed and be able to play with your children. So, I make sure that whenever I am feeling better and having a good day, I try to spend some quality time with my son, having fun and making it memorable, even if it is for some few minutes.
If I am feeling better, I prefer to go out for a walk or play in the lawn. If there is hot outside, we prefer to play inside with toys, or we prefer to dance. We run to chase each other.
The days in which I feel that I can’t do some heavy activities, I prefer to spend time with him reading story books or a doing coloring or any activity that I can handle at that time. Sometimes, I throw the ball and ask him to chase it.
- Explain the reason of your need to rest
Today, children are even smarter than we think. They get the things easily. So try to explain them why you can’t get out of bed and play with them or why you can’t play as long as they want you to play. It depends on the age of the kid.
In my case, I prefer to say to my son, “I am not feeling good. I want to sit down. I will play with you while sitting. So, let’s do something that can be done in couch or bed.”
Most of the time, he understands and feels alright with it.
- Focus on the most important thing:
Sometimes, there are days when you can’t even stand for like more than a few minutes. You don’t have that strength. You should decide what is important for you and your child.
Food, supplements, medications and rest are the things that seem to be their need. Your needs are also important as your child’s needs are. Being a parent, your first priority is to give everything your child needs and wants, but due to this, you will burn out without anything left to give them. It will not be good for you.
- Find your child’s strength:
Every child possesses some strengths and weaknesses. I looked that what are the strengths of my child and I found that he like to be independent. He likes if he has a word of say in anything. He likes to help me and he feels happy when I praise him for his work.
So when I want to let the things go smoothly when I feel sick, I try to give him a measure of independence where it is possible. I give him choices what he wants to wear, eat, play. Which cartoons he want to watch, which plate, glass or spoon does he wants. These all are little things that will make him happy and satisfied.
- Don’t say no to help:
This one is quite challenging for me because I have never thought of it in my mind even. I always thought of the motherhood be like spending whole day with my son, teaching him, giving training of every single thing, playing with him. So, it was difficult for me to pass on my child to someone for care. It was not the thing of my perfect life. My husband was having a reasonable job that allows me to remain at home and spend all my time with my son, just like a dream life.
But as I have told you that reality is different. It can never be the way you have thought of it. It is so much difficult to raise your child than you have ever imagined. Sometimes, you get exhausted.
If you are having fibromyalgia, the mom faces extra challenges then. It takes some time to get to know how can you adjust with life while having fibromyalgia, what is best for the family. Try to spend quality time with the children because they grow up too quickly.
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